Currently extremely annoyed with my thoughts and feelings
It’s so bad how much I miss you sometimes. But also I am so mad and I don’t want to talk to you. But then I want you to talk to me and apologize and tell me that you miss me or something. Idk. I don’t know what I want from you and that’s why for so long I’ve stayed away and that’s why this is so wrong ahhhh what’s wrong with me.
All right back to studying for this Mythology exam haha………………
1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Sometimes yes, but then i think about all the guys in my life rn and none of them seem appropriate for me to even date. Like I can’t see myself with anyone rn.
2.When did your last hug take place?
3.Are you a jealous person?
4.Are you tired right now?
5.Do you chew on your straws?
When I get really bored
6.Have you ever been called a tease?
No haha I am not a flirt or tease or anything
7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
8.Do you cry easily?
Recently yes, ever since last year I have been crying a lot
9.What should you be doing right now?
I’m watching a movie rn
10.Are you a heavy sleeper?
Eh not really
11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
Yes, but it all depends on who with too
12.Are you mad at someone right now?
I’m disappointed in people rn
13.Do you believe in love?
14.What makes you laugh no matter what?
Bob’s burgers? Lol Idk can’t think of anything rn
15.Who was the last person you talked to?
My sister and mom just now I guess
16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
I don’t think I like anyone rn it’s weird
17.Will you get married?
I hope so
18.When was the last time you smiled?
Rn I’m watching The Proposal its funny af
19.Does anyone like you?
This guy, I called him Guy #2 last year. Yeah he’s been texting me recently and he asked me on a date and I think I said yes…
20.Do you secretly like someone?
People don’t know I still have feelings for Earl. But I know how wrong it is and how over it has been so it just sucks because Idk how to feel for another guy anymore.
21.Who was the first person you talked to today?
My mon? Idk
22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
Andy, used to be Earl. So mostly just Andy or my coworker Stacy or my little cousin EJ. I’ve gotten closer to so many people after having to let go of Earl.
23.What are you NOT looking forward to?
Mythology quiz tomorrow I barely studied
24.What ARE you looking forward to?
The good parts of life.
25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?
Ex like from last last year Idgaf. If I were to call Earl a type of ex I would probably cry.
27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
Haha I am too broke
28.Are you a forgiving person?
Yes always I care too much to let myself hate a person or not forgive or hold a grudge
29.How many TRUE friends do you have?
30.Do you fall for people easily?
No. Only like 1 guy.
31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?
No. If I considered Earl an ex, I would so date one f his best friends cuz they are hotties hahahaha.
32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
A dick jk catfish.
33.Who was the last person you drove with?
My little cousin.
34.How late did you stay up last night and why?
Like 12ish cuz my little cousin was over watching movies.
35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Me lol selfie game propr
37.Can you live a day without TV?
38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
39.Three names you go by…
Kat Katrina KitKat
40.Are you currently in a relationship?
41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
The Wedding Singer
42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
43.What’s your current problem?
Feeling lonely but not wanting anyone else but A GUY WHO DOESNT WANT ME and also sometimes Idk if I want him I just wish he would talk to me.
44.Have you ever had your heart broken?
By guy from 43 basically
45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?
If you make it work then ok
46.How many kids do you want to have?
2 or 3
47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?
I’ve only ever liked one guy like really truly liked and I was all right telling him because he told me first.
I never really post pics of me on tumblr but here ya go guys I am so cute lol jk lol what lol ok bye
I felt so pretty at the Phantogram concert tonight hobestly lol. I looked soft grungey as hell and Idk I just thought I looked fab and I felt fab and I usually never feel that great about myself but man I did feel pretty tonight haha. And the cute ticket guy said I looked cute too so that made me feel even better about myself ^.^ Ok good night all!
Sorry I post long sloppy notes on tumblr of things I wish I said or could say to someone
I didn’t need you to pretend care about me. I just needed to know the truth. And I just needed someone to be there for me. I thought that was you. I told you everything. I trusted you. I know it’s been forever but there are just so many times when I think about you and I miss you. Even though I know the whole thing wasn’t even a big deal to you. I know about life now. I learned so much after we sopped talking. You could have been talking to so many other girls when we were talking. I knew it I knew it I was the side chick. But why why why would you do that to me. Like I just can’t get that out of my head. That you would hurt me so bad when I told you what I’ve been through and why i had to ask so many times and why I had to stop talking to you. And even after all of that and everything I went through last year because of you, you’re the only one I want to tell my problems to. Like I can’t handle what’s happening in m life right now and you’re the one I want to tell but you don’t even care about me at all anymore. I was barely a someone to you and now I’m an even smaller barely a someone. And it sucks so bad because I just want to tell you about my sister and her bf and how they’re doing well and how her ex still gets sad about her and will probably never get over her I think because we were barely anything for barely 9 months and I’m still missing you and they were together 6 years so that’s gotta be a broken heart forever. I want to tell you my cousin and her girlfriend have been official for 9 months now. I want to tell you about my new coworkers and how they are my only friends ever since we stopped talking. And what i really want to tell you is about my little cousin and the girl he liked that I told you about before. I want to tell you how she broke his heart and how they are and how I have to deal with it bc his mom is dead his dad left the country and his sister is almost never home. I want to tell you we got in a car accident and how reckless he has been. I want to tell you that I can’t handle this. That I’ve been sad all week about everything. No one else thinks it because I’m good at hiding my feelings but I want to tell you everything. But I can’t because you do ‘t care anymore and I’m up right now because I can’t sleep because I don’t know why I can’t get over you. It’s been almost 7 months and I’ve swerved from 5 guys since we stopped talking because I keep thinking none of them are even close to you and I just keep waiting for you to be a better person and grow up and realize I was right for you and you messed up. I don’t even think I want to be-be with you anymore. But I just want an apology for everything you put me through. I want you to tell me the truth. And I want to be friends. Or Idk maybe I don’t I’m still unsure. I’m just so hurt and confused rn. Idk what to do rn. I’m just so confused I can’t function correctly. I’m just going to keep pretending i am all right until I finally believe it.
11:19, oh, an evil number that I just can’t seem to get out of my head haha wtf.
If my life were like 500 Days Of Summer and I was Tom, April 13, 2014 will be the day that I meet my Autumn haha.
Idk but whenever someone asks about you, I start to think about you a lot again. And I totally try not to, but people ask like so does that loser still try to talk to you or something like that and I just think that like no he isn’t trying to talk to me and he’s probably talking to someone else and just like that sucks like so bad and Idk who is it is or whatever but I know that I shouldn’t care but sometimes I do miss you. I still care about you and it sucks. And I promised myself not to be sad about you anymore but just sometimes I am and last night I cried about you and I hadn’t cried about you in so long and I was doing so well but just my feelings took over me and I was sad again. And it’s Valentine’s Day soon and last Valentine’s Day was the first time you broke my heart and just like, now that you have your job and your car, you’re probably going to take some girl out for dinner or whatever and I thought about your 21st birthday and how you’re going to get krunk and like I’m not a part of your life. And like last year, you made me feel like you wanted me to be a part of your life but I know I wasn’t important enough and you weren’t trying hard enough so I had to leave you alone and I was hoping that Idk you’d fight for me but I guess I wasn’t good enough for you and now you’re talking to other girls and I know I should be talking to other boys but I tried and I just don’t want to talk to other boys. But I know that we would never work out even though we pretended that we were fine the way we were…I just can’t stand the thought of like you texting or calling other girls late at night and talking about stupid random stuff. Or you getting nervous asking another girl out. Or you giving another girl forehead kisses or thinking about how great she is. Or telling your friends about another girl or whatever. And that stuff has probably happened. And I need to learn to accept this stuff because you didn’t want me and I wasn’t good enough. I just wanted to be though and it sucks that sometimes I still feel hurt cuz I thought I was done being hurt and I thought I was stronger but I guess I’m a complete idiot and a complete loser…
I can’t believe the type of guys trying to get at me. It’s so annoying. One guy is almost 21 and doesn’t have his license and he called me baby and said that he wants to take me out to dinner. Another guy said that he’d like to take me out sometime and he was a freshman college drop out who works at McDonald’s and just recently go dumped. Like what is this about? And I was talking to Earl for almost a year, when he didn’t have a job and he’s not even in college. Like what was a thinking? I just want a good one. Like where are the good ones? I don’t think I’m picky, I just want a guy on my level, how difficult is that? Idk, and I’ve swerved from all theses potential suitors and now I don’t think I’m going to get invited to Valentines Day -__-” haha I suck so bad.
I see things so differently it’s annoying how clearly I’m starting to think cuz I’m just looking back at things thinking “wtf y u do dat”.